June 30, 2009

My Problematic Puggle of Ill Repute

Like a 2 year old, when a puggle is quiet... LOOK OUT! I should have known, after all... he's one year old now. I know the signs and symptoms of trouble. And yet.. I allowed myself to get distracted.

I was on my computer, writing. I had just gone bra shopping. I hate bra shopping. But that's an aside. No.. not really. It's relevant. After all... if you are over a size 36 B, bra shopping becomes one of the most relevant things you can do as a woman. You think a Pug is problematic? sigh. Bra shopping should be outlawed for those of us that are larger than 36B. Ok... so I'd spent a stressful hour or so shopping for a couple of bras. It becomes problematic because NO, I don't want to wear a sweater-sized bra. I am, apparently called "Blessed" in this department. I say *apparently* because it MUST be a man that says this. No woman in her right mind calls large breasts a blessing. I'm checking out the women on the packaging, and no, I don't end up looking like any of them. How is it that a skinny assed woman with an A cup, is posing on the cover of my *endowed* bra packaging? Who do they think they're fooling? Of course, the only sexy bras come in sizes meant for boys or B cup and under. The rest of us are meant to cover up in granny undies I guess. And hey! I DO so appreciate the ones that ARE my size, but one question? Why exactly do you assume I want MORE padding than I've already got? To all you bra manufacturers... Don't pad a bra that is D cup or larger. It's just wrong. And don'tcha just love the straps on those larger sized bras? Are they straps? Or sleeves?

Anyway... back to quiet Beauregard, my pugnacious problematic Puggle... I was stressed over my bra shopping, and quietening myself down with writing on my computer. I'd placed my bag with 2 lovely and delicate bras on the floor beside me. Yes, they were the only 2 delicate bras in existence for my size... so I need to take care of them. Suddenly the quiet got to me and I screwed up my face to listen. "What is that sound? Hmmm... it's the ABSENCE of sound!! THAT is a problem." My mind immediately goes to Beauregard, I look down and find my bag is empty, with one bra across the floor, and one missing. OH NO. PLEASE don't tell me that I'll have to repeat today's horrible shopping excursion AGAIN already!!!!! I jumped up and ran... well as best as I could... and stopped in the next room at this site...

What is tightly wrapped around that little body? He's looking at me with an expression of NO. You can't have it! It's MINE. He's now backing up, and I grab my handy camera beside the chair, and snap. Cuz... I'm a scrapbooker first.. and a worrier second. That's the law of scrapbooking 101. As I approach him, he continues to back up. I bark out an order to him, and he's now affronted, and sending a slight growl. One that shows his displeasure without getting him into too much trouble. I get nearer, and see that... NO it's not draped on his body. It's securely FASTENED onto his body. How exactly did he do this? ...

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Never let silence reign with a puggle. It's gonna be bad. Thankfully, my bra lived to tell the tale. And I don't have to go shopping again.

A New Layout!

Here's a layout I did up last night, of my son Dana in Panama.