Thursday, April 23, 2009

April 23, 2009

I Can't Help But Wonder
I was feeling melancholy last night. My son is 16. SIXTEEN! What does that mean? It means that the little boy who gave me very little time for ME... now gives me far too much. He is off doing his own thing. He is busy. Very involved with school. Very many friends. Part-time job. Volunteer positions. Student Senate Executive.
All good things. I'm proud of these things. But it means more time away from us. That *away time* becomes like missing church on Sunday. It feeds itself, so that it becomes easier to not spend time together. And ok... I'll admit it. I miss him. Do I miss that teenager attitude? NO. Of course not. But... I miss hanging with my little boy. I remember thinking about this when he was little. I remember feeling unable to hold the thought for long, because it made me so sad. I worried and fretted that this would one day be here. And... here it is. This is much better than the alternative... of him not being here at all! But it's not an either/or thing. It's a wish for days gone by. It's a wish for that little boy who thought Mommy was the bestest person in the world. That little boy who maintained that one day he would change his name to Bobby Brown, so he could marry his mommy. LOL :D
If you have a little one at your side, and you're feeling like you could sure use some Me time... think about me today... and grab them close. They grow up so fast.
Here's a layout I did on a picture I had of him from last year. Also... I did up a sketch for you guys. Enjoy


Pamela said...

Great layout! And I love your sketch too!

Audrey said...

oh's hard to watch them grow up, isn't it? my oldest is 12 and I know that I'm just minutes from being where you are. Hugs!

Linda said...

Oh my - I have a 12 year old too, and I'm dreading the next few years. It's already starting to happen, and I miss my little guy so much. :( That's a fantastic layout.